When Your Friend Says 10 Minutes

Cynthia May

2 min read

·

22-01-2025

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We've all been there. You're waiting for a friend, they say they'll be there in 10 minutes, and… you're still waiting. That casual "10 minutes" can stretch into an eternity, leaving you wondering about the accuracy (or lack thereof) of your friend's time perception. But why does this happen? Is it simply a matter of poor time management, or is there more to it?

The Psychology of Time Perception

The simple answer is: it's complicated. Our perception of time isn't linear; it's subjective and influenced by a number of factors. When we're anticipating something pleasant, like meeting a friend, time can seem to drag. Conversely, when we're engrossed in an activity, time can fly by. This is why your friend, busy getting ready, might genuinely believe 10 minutes is sufficient, only to find themselves significantly overshooting their estimate.

The Role of Planning and Prioritization

Another key factor is planning (or the lack thereof). Someone who meticulously plans their day is more likely to be accurate with their time estimates. They factor in travel time, potential delays, and the time required for the task at hand. In contrast, someone who is less organized might underestimate the time needed, leading to those frustrating "10-minute" delays.

The "Planning Fallacy"

Research points to what's called the "planning fallacy," a cognitive bias where people underestimate the time needed to complete tasks, even when they have experience with similar tasks. This isn't necessarily about being deceitful; it's simply a predictable human tendency.

Beyond the Individual: External Factors

Let's not forget external factors. Unexpected traffic, last-minute errands, or even a simple conversation that unexpectedly stretches out can easily throw off even the best-laid plans. These variables are outside anyone's control and contribute significantly to the discrepancy between predicted and actual arrival times.

Managing Expectations

So, what's the takeaway? While your friend might genuinely intend to be there in 10 minutes, it's wise to adjust your expectations accordingly. Instead of taking their time estimate literally, consider it a flexible guideline. And if punctuality is crucial, clear communication is key. A simple "Just checking in, what's your ETA?" can prevent unnecessary frustration.

Ultimately, the next time your friend says "10 minutes," remember that time perception is complex, and a little flexibility goes a long way.