Tales From The Crib Keeper 15

Caroline Mae

2 min read

·

02-01-2025

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The flickering gaslight cast long shadows across the nursery as I, your humble Crib Keeper, began my nightly rounds. Tonight's tale, however, isn't one of ghostly whispers or mischievous sprites. Oh no, this is a case of far greater, more insidious… missing milk.

The Mystery Begins

Little Timmy, usually a picture of cherubic contentment after his bedtime bottle, was unusually agitated. His usually rosy cheeks were flushed, and a low whine escaped his lips. His mother, understandably distraught, had already checked his diaper (clean!), his blankets (tucked in!), and even the temperature of his room (perfect!). But the bottle…the bottle was gone.

Vanished. Poof. Into thin air.

Suspects and Clues

This wasn’t a simple case of a careless caregiver. The bottle, a sturdy, almost indestructible thing, was nowhere to be found. The usual suspects – Timmy himself (too young to be a cunning thief), the family cat (allergic to milk!), and even the mischievous garden gnome collection (they've been known to pilfer shiny buttons, not milk bottles) – were all ruled out.

The only remaining clue? A faint, milky residue on the nursery rug, leading away from the crib and… towards the window? Could it have been… a milk bottle bandit?

The Shocking Revelation

Following the trail of milky evidence, we arrived at the window, slightly ajar. Peeking outside, we saw it. A tiny, but surprisingly strong, squirrel – apparently, a connoisseur of infant formula – clutching the missing bottle in its tiny paws. It seemed to be attempting to scale the oak tree outside, its prize clutched tightly.

The squirrel, understandably, wasn't willing to give up its ill-gotten gains without a fight. A gentle (and slightly comical) chase ensued, culminating in the safe retrieval of the milk bottle (mostly intact, a few minor squirrel teeth marks notwithstanding).

Lessons Learned

While this tale might seem humorous, it serves as a reminder to always check for possible escape routes for tiny, milk-loving burglars. Secure your windows, parents! And, perhaps most importantly, invest in a bottle with a more robust lid, one that even the most determined of squirrel bandits would struggle to conquer. Goodnight, and sleep tight! And keep your milk bottles close!