Never Tell A Latina To Calm Down

Cynthia May

2 min read

·

21-01-2025

1

0

Share

The phrase "calm down" is often wielded as a dismissive tool, silencing and invalidating the speaker's emotions. But telling a Latina to "calm down" carries a particularly heavy weight, layered with centuries of societal biases and microaggressions. It's not just dismissive; it's a direct erasure of her lived experience and a reinforcement of harmful stereotypes.

The Problem with "Calm Down"

The simple phrase "calm down" is rarely effective in de-escalating a situation. It often comes across as condescending and dismissive, suggesting the speaker's feelings are irrational or overblown. This is damaging regardless of the person's background, but it’s particularly harmful when directed towards a Latina.

The Intersectional Weight

Latinas navigate a complex web of societal expectations and prejudices. They often face stereotypes portraying them as fiery, emotional, or overly dramatic. Telling a Latina to "calm down" reinforces these harmful stereotypes, invalidating her feelings and reinforcing the idea that her emotional expression is somehow unacceptable or "too much". This isn't just about managing emotions; it's about silencing a voice already marginalized within broader societal structures.

The Root of the Issue

The problem lies in the power dynamic inherent in the phrase. It's a command, not a request for understanding. It implies a superior position, suggesting the speaker needs to be controlled rather than heard. This is particularly insidious when directed towards a member of a marginalized group who is already facing systemic biases and microaggressions.

Beyond the Phrase

It’s not just about the words themselves; it's about the underlying message. Telling a Latina to "calm down" implies that her anger, frustration, or sadness is inherently problematic, simply because of her identity. This needs to be acknowledged and addressed. Instead of dismissing her feelings, we need to create spaces where Latinx voices are heard, respected, and validated.

What to Do Instead

Instead of resorting to dismissive commands, try these alternatives:

• Listen actively: Truly hear what the person is saying. Show empathy and understanding.
• Validate their feelings: Acknowledge their emotions without judgment. Phrases like "I understand you're feeling frustrated" or "That sounds really upsetting" can be incredibly helpful.
• Ask clarifying questions: Show genuine interest in understanding their perspective.
• Offer support: Let them know you're there for them, even if you don't fully understand their situation.

Ultimately, respecting the emotions and experiences of Latinas requires a fundamental shift in perspective. It's about recognizing the validity of their feelings and moving beyond the harmful, dismissive tropes that often silence their voices. Telling a Latina to "calm down" is not only unproductive but also perpetuates a cycle of harmful stereotypes and undermines their agency.